By:
Amir Al-Khamisi
The bond of love between husband and wife is a sacred bond, enveloped in love, shaded by branches of affection. So why do husband and wife fight over trivial matters and escalate into a feud, until they infiltrate and tear up this magnificent and sturdy building?
Look at how beautiful the bond between Khadijah and her beloved Prophet Shallallahu Alaihi Wassalam is. She returned to his arms after the terrifying moments she spent in Hira’s cave that almost crushed her ribs.
It was as if I saw him gnashing his teeth because of the piercing cold, he was shivering and enveloped by the weight and horror of the events that had just happened. He said to Khadijah, a figure full of love from head to toe: “Cover me! Cover me!”
Only this sentence echoed in the house, its echo filled every corner of the house. It seems to reveal many meanings: Cover me, because I’m tired, weary, cold. I couldn’t stand on my feet. He couldn’t support me.
Then Khadijah rushed to cover him, before covering him with a blanket, she covered his heart with her heart blanket.
He could have taken the blanket and been alone, hugging his body in the blanket with agitated breath without Khadijah knowing. But what he wanted was the warmth of his love before the blanket, the touch of his heart before the cloth.
He said: “O Khadijah, by God I am worried about myself!” Khadija replied: “No, by God! He will not insult you!” Then he mentioned the greatest qualities of the Prophet Muhammad SAW.
What kind of faith did Khadija have? What kind of heart does he have? What hope does it raise? How pure of a heart he expressed those feelings! She is a mother figure before she becomes a wife figure. His heart was full of love, as if he loved his child who was shivering in the cold, like a little bird resting on a tree branch.
Rasulullah Sallallahu Alaihi Wassalam also responded with the same feelings, he loved him very much, recognized his position, raised his rank, and fulfilled his rights. When Khadijah died, the world felt overwhelmed before her. That year was a year of sadness for him.
When the soul feels calm in its habitat and peaceful in its nest, then the household becomes a shady garden and a safe and enjoyable place, blessings descend, mercy envelops, good fortune rains down, and goodness spreads all around.
Imam Ahmad bin Hanbal said that he had lived with his wife, Umm Salih for 30 years without ever disagreeing with her even with one word!
Ar-Rafi’i Rahimahullah said that during his life with his wife for more than 25 years, they never quarreled except once, and that time he was in the wrong.
How can we build a household full of calm, love and beauty? That is, by understanding each other, not raising their voices, and each considering their partner as their partner in this life, so that the household will be surrounded by feelings of love, compassion and affection.
Many husbands and wives’ souls become dry of love, barren of affection. Affected by a dryness of feelings, he is torn apart by disputes, hatred, turning away from each other, and feuds. Compatibility no longer accompanies. Then it had a bad effect on both of them and the children, so the family was in pain.
Love between husband and wife is a strong bond, a strong rope, a firm relationship. I have been contemplating the amazing sentence in the notes of Shaykh Muhammad Al-Ghazali when he remembered his life partner. He said about it beautiful sayings that evoked feelings of deep sadness and disturbed hidden memories. He said: “I lived with my wife for 30 years as the happiest married couple in the world. For her willingness to accept my poverty, I was finally able to repay her by giving her a spacious residence, making her feel the luxury of life, walking on silk and gold. From her I was blessed with nine children, two of whom have returned to my Lord, and still with me are seven sons and daughters. Then my wife left this world suddenly, so that I wept for her from the deepest recesses of my heart. I expressed my sadness with verses verse:
As for those who cry and laugh, those who die and bring it to life, and those who are commanded to do these things,
Oh, to the One who brings tears and laughter, to the One who kills and gives life, and to Him all matters.
You make me envy those birds, seeing two tame birds that are not afraid to panic.
You have made me feel jealous of birds. I saw a pair of birds who loved each other without being disturbed by fear.
I paid attention to household problems that were so trivial, not worth mentioning, but those problems became increasingly complicated until they ended in divorce. What makes the gap bigger and the rift wider? It turns out that this is due to ignoring all the good things about your partner, and instead focusing on his faults. If you look at your partner with a look full of joy, the disgrace will feel light, shrink, settle down, and eventually disappear. In the past, Imam Ash-Shafi’i once said:
The eye of satisfaction with every defect is dull, but the eye of dissatisfaction reveals fault.
A gaze full of joy will soften every flaw, while a gaze full of hatred will reveal all ugliness.
In addition to having a happy appearance, it is also called a gentle appearance, it is also called a blind appearance. A poet said:
The eyes of dissatisfaction see every defect, but the eyes of my brother who are satisfied with them are blind.
The eyes of hatred will see every flaw, while the eyes of pleasure will be blind to flaws.
Just as the eyes that turn away from the confusion of a friend are called the eyes of joy, so they are also called by a deeper name than that, namely the eyes of love, as the poet says:
The eyes of hate highlight every flaw, and the eyes of love find no flaws.
And the eyes of hatred highlight every defect, While the eyes of love find no defects.
So that there are no rifts in building domestic relationships, it is mandatory for every couple – when there is a difference of opinion or negligence on the part of the partner in carrying out their duties – to remain calm, control emotions, remember the partner’s goodness, and immediately turn away from exaggerating mistakes. There are very few — in fact none — people who are free from shortcomings, disgrace and mistakes. In fact, Al-Mutanabbi has an ‘extreme’ view on this matter, namely viewing his colleagues’ disgrace as goodness. He stated his intentions with great courage:
The actions of anyone but you are disgusting to me, and you do them and it is good for you.
It looks bad to me if someone other than you does it, but if you do it, it looks beautiful in my eyes.
The opposite of the eyes of joy are the eyes of hatred. Abu Al-Atahiyah explained the difference between the two:
I see the eyes as the eyes of dissatisfaction as the hot eyes, and oh the eyes as the eyes of contentment!
I see the eyes of hatred are hot eyes, But oh the eyes of contentment, how cool is the look of contentment
Married life is built on an attitude of complementarity, otherwise it will become mutually eroding. The ark of this relationship must continue to be patched periodically, otherwise it will be sunk by the waves of discord. Household is a beautiful and pleasant home. Allah Subhanahu wa Ta’ala refers to each husband and wife as each other’s clothes, while the nature of clothing is to cover the body, so that the couple must be a cover for disgrace and mistakes, protect them from mistakes, dampen turbulent desires, and guide them towards halalness, so that life can be beautiful and shortcomings can be covered.
How bad it would be if a husband only saw his wife as merely satisfying his lust, ignoring her human side without caring. Married life is greater than this. In fact, the essence is collective life, a sense of security, comfort, a corner where you find warmth, a garden of happiness, a paradise of love, and a touch of affection.
Wife is serenity, and how wonderful is this serenity! In it there is peace, spaciousness of heart, prosperity of life, and the beauty of a place to anchor. If a little thing is found that reduces this calmness, then it is a glory if the husband is patient with it, and a bad thing if he exaggerates it and understands it in the wrong way. It would be a good moral thing if he closed his eyes to the little things that disturb his relationship, because this attitude is an important point for the sustainability of the relationship. Meanwhile, looking for mistakes and focusing on seeing disgrace will only speed up the end of the feeling of love. This attitude will leave you with almost no friends, and there will be no good lover in your eyes. This is as the poet said:
And whoever does not close his eyes to his friend and some of his contents, he will die by blaming him.
Who does not want to close his eyes to his friend’s shortcomings, and from some of the things he has, he will die still reproached.
And whoever diligently pursues every stumbling block, he will surely find it, and time will not waste him a friend.
Whoever tries to find every fault, He is sure to find it, and no friend is safe from it throughout the ages.
Closing your eyes to your husband’s mistakes is also a noble trait of a wife. She must also take into account the pressure, life difficulties and tiring conditions faced by her husband. She should know that with her intelligence, she can gain her husband’s attention, capture his heart, and attract him through her gentle demeanor.
Closing one’s eyes to mistakes is not cowardly, but rather, it protects this sturdy building from sudden collapse and the brunt of storms from one side. This is like what the poet said:
I turn a blind eye to many things, and I am able to leave behind ambiguity.
I close my eyes to many things, Even though I can afford not to pretend.
There is no blindness that makes one blind, but perhaps someone becomes blind and neglected while seeing.
It’s not because I’m blind that I close my eyes, but sometimes. Someone deliberately pretends to be blind and closes their eyes even though they can see.
What I mean here is not big mistakes that can no longer be forgiven, but ordinary mistakes that are often repeated, mistakes from routines that occur every day because of house conditions, housework, kitchen work, children, and so on. Mistakes that occur because of these things are trivial, there is no need for heated disputes, driver’s debates that become increasingly sharp, and become the cause of reproaches, harsh attitudes, or silence from your partner.
Family life should be built on love. If there is no love, then there must still be affection:
And He made between you love and compassion
“And He created between you love and compassion.” (QS. Ar-Rum: 21).
The wife must remain a source of peace, as is the characteristic given to her by the Koran. Meanwhile, the husband must build and maintain this peace well, paying attention to its beauty and aesthetics, maintaining its holiness and purity, and re-gluing this building every time it cracks, so that it doesn’t collapse and fall on the occupants, so that the whole family disappears completely. He must also always behave well, so that beauty and life are maintained in it, comfort and peace last forever there; Likewise, tranquility, spaciousness, peace of mind, and beauty provide mutual pleasure and warmth.
Source:
PDF article source
🔍 Qorin in Islam, Cursing a Mother to Her Child, Tafsir of Prayer, How to Pray the Sunnah of Repentance, Cats According to Islam
Visited 11 times, 2 visits today
Post Views: 3
PakarPBN
A Private Blog Network (PBN) is a collection of websites that are controlled by a single individual or organization and used primarily to build backlinks to a “money site” in order to influence its ranking in search engines such as Google. The core idea behind a PBN is based on the importance of backlinks in Google’s ranking algorithm. Since Google views backlinks as signals of authority and trust, some website owners attempt to artificially create these signals through a controlled network of sites.
In a typical PBN setup, the owner acquires expired or aged domains that already have existing authority, backlinks, and history. These domains are rebuilt with new content and hosted separately, often using different IP addresses, hosting providers, themes, and ownership details to make them appear unrelated. Within the content published on these sites, links are strategically placed that point to the main website the owner wants to rank higher. By doing this, the owner attempts to pass link equity (also known as “link juice”) from the PBN sites to the target website.
The purpose of a PBN is to give the impression that the target website is naturally earning links from multiple independent sources. If done effectively, this can temporarily improve keyword rankings, increase organic visibility, and drive more traffic from search results.