How to forgive | Tebuireng Online

The seeds grew quietly
I don’t know when I started to hate
maybe when the words become a weapon
Or when your silence
more painful than screams

Initially just a little disappointed
which I let them be silent in the chest
then grow roots, spreading thick
change the chest into an angry ground

Not you who plant
But I let him live
Because in fact, revenge
warm on a lonely cold night

Chest full of poisons
Now I live with poison
what I made myself, I swallowed myself
Every time your name is called
there is trembling between my breath

I want to be angry, but tired
I want to forget, but this heart is hard
Hatred turned out to be opium
He made me feel alive and destroyed at once

Your shadow comes like a fog
not to hug, but judgmental
And I keep losing
In his own creative war

If I want to forgive
I wish I wanted to let go
What happens my heart?
is it light like the afternoon sky
Or just empty without fire?

I don’t know how to forgive
Because I have shaped this hatred like a wall
but I’m tired, really tired
with myself who is full of wounds

Maybe, forgiven is not a matter of you
but about me who wants to go home
Back to a heart that is no longer difficult
In a world that is no longer black and white

Writer: trough
Editor: Rara Zaryry

Tebuireng Magazine