The journey of the elderly mansuing children

The decision to lodge children is not a light choice for some parents. There are inner upheaval, worries, and various considerations that accompany the process. On the one hand, parents want to provide the best education that not only matures the intellectual of children, but also forms their character and spirituality. On the other hand, releasing children from direct supervision and entrusting them to the boarding education system such as pesantren requires deep willingness and intact mental readiness.

Many parents go through this process with a long inner dialogue. They must strengthen the heart that lodging children does not mean fully surrendering care, but rather expanding the space for children’s growth through a more directed community and nuanced religious values. At the beginning, maybe the child refused. The fear of a new environment, loss of freedom, and longing for home is a natural thing to be felt by children. This is where the role of parents becomes very important, namely as a patience who is patient and the delivery of clear hopes.

Also read: Being a Santri Is Privilege Not Limitations

Wise parents do not force, but convincingly. They approach children not with orders, but with hugs and human conversations. Children are invited to understand that Islamic boarding schools are not limiting places, but instead free up, meaning to free the mind from ignorance, free the soul from spiritual scrape, and free the heart from the values that are shackling. They instill that being a santri is not just studying religious knowledge, but also forms a tough and independent mentality that will become the main provision in dealing with life.

The selection of pesantren was not carried out carelessly. Parents pay close attention to the reputation of pesantren, their educational approach, a balance between religious and general knowledge, as well as the psychological condition of children. Not all children are suitable in pesantren that are very strict and formalistic; Some children need a more friendly, dialogical and fun approach. Therefore, many parents who involve children in the process of choosing pesantren, showing photos, introducing their caregiver profiles, and even inviting children to visit directly so that they feel the atmosphere before actually starting the life of the cottage.

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In this process, parents not only focus on aspects of discipline and worship, but also the mental health of children. They still maintain communication with children, contact regularly, visit when allowed, and most importantly: Become a listener who does not judge. They ask not only achievements, but also children’s feelings, whether he feels comfortable, what he feels about roommates, clerics, or daily routines. Because education will not mean if the child’s mentality is neglected.

Explain the synergy of pesantren education and formal schools

One of the challenges faced by parents in boarding children is to convince that pesantren is not only a place to gain religious knowledge, but also an arena for strong formal education. Many modern pesantren now integrate the national curriculum with a religious curriculum. Children learn mathematics and jurisprudence in one day, read English novels in between memorization of the Qur’an, and discuss about world history while deepening the interpretation of the Qur’an. This is not just a double education, but the strengthening of the characters from two important sides: intellectual and spiritual.

Also read: Between Children’s Religious Education and Mental Health

Parents play an important role in explaining this concept to children. They instill that being a santri does not mean being cut off from the outside world. In fact, being a santri means having more provisions to wade through the times. Santri can become a doctor, engineer, businessman, even public officials, but with noble values that are not easily swayed. In a daily dialogue, parents build a narrative that life in pesantren is exciting – there are organizational activities, life skills, sports, and togetherness that are not easily found in ordinary schools.

Not infrequently, parents tell the inspirational story of big figures with pesantren backgrounds: ulama, intellectuals, national leaders. They form positive imagination in children, that Mondok is not a quiet path, but a noble path full of light. Parents are not only a message of messages, but also examples in respecting knowledge, discipline, and simplicity. They themselves show that choosing a pesantren is a form of love and trust in the future of children.

In the early phase of Mondok, many children experience homesick, feel lonely, or even want to go home. This is where the love and patience of parents are tested. They did not immediately pick up, but accompanied with empathy. They said that all great people had gone through a difficult process in learning. They strengthen that difficulties are not enemies, but teachers. And that the pesantren is not a foreign place, but the second house that will shape it becomes a strong, intelligent, and moral person.

Also read: Islamic Boarding School Education Model Answering Challenges of Change

The sincerity of parents in this process, starting from the selection of the cottage, educating children to be mentally ready, to maintain emotional closeness when the child is a child, is a form of responsibility as well as true love. They do not give up children just like that, but still become part of their growth, namely by giving space to be independent, but still present when needed. Pesantren is not a place to separate, but space grows together between children and parents, in a deeper and meaningful way.

Writer: Umm Masrurah, Santri Annuqayah.